Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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