the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
