Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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