i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
