Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
