Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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