So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
