Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
