i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
