I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
