lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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