You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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