I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will pee on everything he values.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
