Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
