Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
