Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
