There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
