we're blogging at a bar
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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