Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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