dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
