Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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