wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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