4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
