You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
