The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
