This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
