remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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