There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
