I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
