the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There r osticjed everywhere
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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