Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
