She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
