lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
