I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
