just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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