We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
