I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Another day, another engagement, another cat
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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