you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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