You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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