Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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