i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
