im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
