if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
