Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
