i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
