Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
