Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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