glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
