with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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