A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
