i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
